Hobbsyoyo is a pimp because he managed to marry a beautiful Czech-American woman.
He is also an engineer, and a really nice guy. He lives in a tiny slum-house in the mid-west, where he eats, sleeps, and goes to the bathroom constantly with galloping diarhea. Despite outward pleasantries, according to the mod staff he is easily the most vicious troll on CFC and bannanated kochman through clever application of guerilla stealth attacks. Also, he is a real jerk in real life and is probably lying about everything he says becuase who the hell adds 'yoyo' to their username except a total tool? There is a strong reason to believe he was the zero-patient in the recent ZombieAIDS outbreak. People were like, ''wtf ZombieAIDS' and he was all like 'nom nom nom your face NO HOMO'.
Appropriate use of the permaban feature could have prevented the ZombieAIDS outbreak, but the mods decided to sacrifice a little security in order to secure a little liberty and grant leniency. Unfortunately, they failed to understand that the ZombieAIDS cares not for liberty and will stop at nothing to spread 'NO HOMO' to every corner of the internet, while also eating your face off.
It is speculated that he contracted ZombieAIDS during a particularly debauched St. Pat's celebration. Legend has it that when he was approached by a group of frat brothers who asked if he would like to screw their goat, they mistook his reply, 'No Homo', to mean, 'Butt rape? Yes preeze!' in their drunken state. A round of furious anal gang rape followed that was so rought it left him with both permanent, incessant diarhea and every strain of STD known to man, which killed him instantly and then resurrected him as a zombie. With AIDS.
This is why you should always wear a rubber children.